If you do x, and you know for sure y will happen (y being a bad thing), it actually is your fault that y happened. Unless you did y because if you didn’t, z (a badder thing than y as far as you know) would happen. In that case you were just put in a bad situation.
So (1) does usually imply (2) but I do agree that (2) doesn’t imply (1) at all. So yeah they’re not the same.
There is a difference, though, between knowing something will happen (or is very likely to happen) and intending it to happen. e.g., at a party with my family’s conservative friends, someone asked me how I was planning to vote, and I replied “Democrat” in the perfect knowledge that that they’d go off on a misogynistic screed, which they did. I couldhave either lied or said I didn’t really want to talk about politics or w/e, but that person’s behaviour was still not my fault and I most assuredly didn’t want it to happen.
So I don’t actually think (1) does usually imply (2). It can, but they are not semantically equivalent.
and I tried a gentle correction of “er, sorry, but… no. just no.” and then they laughed at me and went “ha, says who, Google?” and I went “no, says the standard axiom set for the real numbers upon which a very large portion of modern mathematics is built do you have any idea how much is going to collapse on you if you start messing with that aaaaah”.
Ugh, when people assume you don’t know what you’re talking about because they don’t. >_<
(0.999…=1 is a weird one, because it seems to be “obviously wrong” to most laypeople - I remember being very shocked by it when I first ran across it in high school! On the other hand I think it’s intuitively true to most mathematicians - definitely is for me - but explaining why entails a digression through how nasty infinity gets and how good mathematicians have become at carefully working around it as a result, the formal definition of a limit and probably some comments on calculus, Cauchy completion and Hausdorff topological spaces.
Which is a longwinded way of saying that the math major is probably well in her rights in that fic. XD)
Hehehehe, I don’t understand much beyond “lo, the universe is both vast and imperfect and we must use workarounds to get at stuff”, but I am reassured :P
And - yeeaaah, that sounds really frustrating, I am sorry! and re: your tags, “we only use 10% of our brains” would make me twitch too and I only have the vague layperson-y understanding that “just because we don’t know what something does exactly doesn’t mean it’s useless!”
Actually, we do use all of our brains, they just don’t all “light up” on PET scans and so on at the same time (different areas light up based on current activity, emotional state, etc).
(The argument also often supposes more localization than exists—e.g., a one to one correlation between anger and the amygdala, which is a a vast oversimplification.)
haha my subject means this does not happen to me much, lucky me… although the other day I was in a chatroom where people were going “lol how ridiculous of course 0.9999… is less than 1” and I was just *twitch* NO so. Yeah.
hahahaha, I can only imagine
I have an English degree and focused on the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries (I was originally studying those as a history major), so it happens a lot - esp with Austen-related stuff, where she’s attributed with quotes that are invented for adaptations, or lines that belong to characters she’s mocking, etc >_>
(kind of amused because I was just writing a fic involving an English major dating a math major, and the latter just being “sweetie, no” when he starts delivering opinions on math :P)
Sigismondo Malatesta of Rimini had two of his wives murdered: one poisoned, the other suffocated. Francesca Manfredi of Faenza lured her husband into her bedchamber on the pretext of being unwell and had him stabbed there by concealed assassins; when they bungled the job she coolly stepped forward, a fifteenth-century Lady Macbeth, and finished him off with a dagger thrust in the stomach. In July of 1500, in a bloodbath known as ‘the Red Wedding’, half the feuding Baglioni family of Perugia murdered the other half in their beds
ASOIAF may be more medievalish, but I think there might be some other relevant parallels in my favourite period :D
I would totally be lying if I said I wasn’t tearing up by the end of this, especially in the context of your tags. This is so perfect.
Thanks! I’d thought of it long before, but the idea that Luke isn’t happy at the end of ROTJ definitely settled into pretty firmly into my mind!
After Luke discovers he and Leia are twins, he doesn’t respond with horror, dismay or even disappointment. His reaction is essentially “so that’s what that was!” and he’s pleased.
That’s right. Apparently, his feelings have been platonic all along and hejust can’t tell the difference.
SO PERFECT. The thing about this headcanon is it takes the confused, awkward, retconned mess that is accepted canon and smoothes it out into something not only sensible but ten times more meaningful.
I definitely think it’s the clearest and easiest way to make sense of the retcon in a way that doesn’t just go “LALALA NEVER HAPPENED”. And I’m glad that some people seem to agree, since I pretty much neverran across it before my original post but the idea seems to work for a lot of people!
When someone is living with a chronic illness, everyone seems to have an opinion. People will give advice on how to live and deal with said illness, advice on treatments and so forth. As well-meaning as that they may be, they are often extremely unhelpful. Therefore, this blog post will look at the more popular clichés that we chronically ill often hear:
“Well, it could be worse..” or “There are people much worse off…” - I think that everyone living with a chronic illness realises this; and as much as the statement is true, it however still does not help us feel any better regarding our own situation. The statement only really adds to the feelings of loneliness and isolation that already exists in our lives as a result of chronic illness. In addition, feelings of suffering and pain are entirely subjective, and therefore you cannot measure one person’s pain against another. We are still going to be in pain, and the thought of someone else being worse off is not a comfort to us.
“You need to get out more; that will make you feel better…” - This is another cliché that can be especially infuriating to hear when you are chronically ill. Especially as there is nothing that we would like more, than to be able to get out of the house and do everything that we enjoy such as shopping or socialising with friends as examples. However, we often feel too unwell to go out; and unfortunately there isn’t anything we can do about it. Stating that we need to get out more just makes us feel worse and more depressed than usual. So, please refrain from using such expressions.
“Get well soon!” - As much as I realise that this popular expression is often used with the best intentions, it is especially hurtful for people like me living with a chronic health condition. As the term ‘chronic’ suggests our condition is not going to improve; and that these conditions are ones which we will have to live with for the rest of our lives. It makes us feel misunderstood. As much as this is a lovely phrase to use for someone with the flu or a broken leg for example, it just leaves us with the thought of “If only!”.
“But you look so GOOD!…” - This has to be the most popular cliché that us spoonies hear from others. It’s as if people cannot fathom that we are so unwell when we look so normal. However, it is said that approximately 96 per cent of all chronic health conditions are invisible. This suggests that the healthy population believe that a sick person should look a certain way and when we fail in living up to that expectation that they therefore do not believe we are sick. This phrase therefore can be particularly hurtful.
“Have you tried exercise? That can be very beneficial for illnesses…” - Yes, I understand that exercise can be beneficial for a number of different conditions; for example, mild depression can be alleviated by taking part in some form of exercise as ‘endorphins’, the happy chemical is released during exercise. However, with many chronic health conditions, it can be very difficult to undertake any form of exercise because of severe symptoms, such as fatigue. In my case, for example, not only fatigue that can stop me from doing some form of exercise but also the dizziness and the trembling in the legs can make it very difficult to exercise also.
“My friend’s aunt’s cousin has that. She tried _____ and it really worked for her. Maybe you should try it?” - As well-intentioned telling us other people’s experiences and although you are trying to help us in trying to find something to help, it is important to note that with a number of different chronic conditions and particularly neurological conditions, every person are unique and each case can be very different. What works for one person will not work for somebody else.
“I know exactly how you feel. I often feel like that…” - This is fine to hear from other friends who are also battling with chronic illnesses. however, it can be very hurtful and frustrating when other friends begin to compare their recent bout of flu or bad cold to your chronic health condition. Being in pain and tired for a week is not the same as battling these symptoms for years. So, please do not tell us that you know how we feel when you have not lived with or experienced chronic illness for yourself.
“I wish I could stay at home all day…” - I find this particular statement very hurtful indeed. We did not choose to be ill, and trust me when I say we would much rather be out living life, and working like you instead of being stuck at home all day feeling very unwell and tired.
“Are you sure, it’s not just in your head?” - Again, this is a really difficult and hurtful statement to hear when experiencing chronic illness. When doctors are unable to find an explanation for symptoms, it is automatically assumed that the person must be imagining, exaggerating or even faking symptoms to gain attention. We get asked this by doctors a lot of the time, so please as friends or family members refrain from suggesting that the problem is simply all in the mind.
“It can’t be that bad?” - The thing with chronic illness, is that it is an experience that you cannot possibly imagine, unless you have had personal experience with it, so again a statement like this can be very upsetting as it trivialises our whole medical condition. Like the statement above it also suggests that we are making the condition up, and can often make us feel that our own friend or close family member does not believe us, which can add to the feeling of loneliness, isolation and depression that can often be associated with chronic illness, even if it was said with the best intentions.
The best thing you can do for someone with a chronic illness is just to listen to them. Ask if there are anyways in which you can help them. Be a supportive friend or family member. We would really appreciate that more than hearing statements such as those above.
So, these are the few clichés that I have heard during my experience with chronic illness. What are the some of the statements that you have heard from friends and family? How did they make you feel?
Please visit the original post to add your thoughts and comments.
Related to #5 and #6: my spoonie friends, who personally suffer from shared conditions, have permission to offer me unofficial medical advice — they’re living it in their own body suffering things that overlap with mine, and we all know how hard it can be to find new approaches to take to a doctor. Sometimes when I’m tired or desperate or angry at my treatment options I do solicit advice (and am not infrequently solicited for advice, because with migraines/chronic pain/joint dislocations/insomnia as your cocktail you do a lot of self-experimentation). But if you’re not my spoonie friend, who knows the ins and outs of my condition from our long conversations, please don’t tell me how your mother’s best friend used to be sick and housebound after she broke a leg and then she lost 50lb and now she has her life back! I rarely hear of a treatment I’ve never heard of before, except occasionally through alternative/traditional medicine (and I am forever grateful for the spoonie friend who suggested I control my allergies with nettles, taking me off annoying and not-very-effective nasal sprays).
I have a life right now. It’s a good life. This can be hard for people who aren’t chronically ill to understand — I have a life right now! I like this life of mine. It’s not perfect but it’s mine. My life won’t “begin” if I suddenly wake up recovered; if I got stronger; if I discover a miracle treatment that means I leave the house more often or work outside the home or I can go back to a traditional classroom. I have to live it as it is on the ground, pain and all. And you know, aside some snags, it’s a pretty good life.
tbh the only reason anybody is “straight-passing” is because of the common and harmful conception that heterosexuality is the default and that queerness must have extreme and visible markers to be valid
A very thin grasp of history (general and specifically artistic), poor reasoning, and deeply offensive US-centrism (who cares how people actually identify in their own countries, currently or historically - all that matters is US perception!).
I honestly hoped I wouldn’t actually have to say this, but it seems that I do, so two notes.
1) If you’re following me solely because I dislike medievalpoc, please don’t. This is not an anti-SJ blog. While I think there are extremes in the online social justice community that I wish were more often acknowledged, I strongly support social justice and generally appreciate the community. This is mostly a multifandom (Austen/Star Wars/Middle-earth/Borgias/Avatar) blog with a dash of feminism and occasional personal chatter. It makes me very uncomfortable to be regarded as anything else.
2) I have a personal blog, which I use alternately for boring daily stuff, overflow from the main blog that I don’t want cluttering people’s dashes, and fandom grumbling. I don’t say much that I haven’t said here, not being someone who often keeps my opinions to myself (:P), but I say it less carefully.
I haven’t really tried to keep this a secret. And for various reasons, it’s not hard to find that blog. But if we’re not good friends—at the least, if I don’t follow you—it’s not for you. I’d rather you didn’t read it at all. But if you do, please don’t bring it to my attention. I like to at least pretend that nobody’s stalking my blog.
I remember once, my friends and I were talking about those Mormons who go door to door and ask “Excuse me. Do you have time to talk about Jesus Christ?” And a few of them and I were coming up with funny responses until one of my friends told me that we should just be respectful of their religion (I don’t remember exactly how she said it).
It just seemed so foreign to me that proselytizing is so integral to some faiths. I said, “Well, I’d respect their religion and hope they’d leave everyone else alone,” and she said, “Well, going door to door/proselytizing/etc. is part of their religion.”
The whole thing just confused me.
It’s confusing. But Mormons in particular (and Christians in general, though different denominations interpret it differently, like you do) have a commandment to go and spread the Gospel. That’s just part and parcel of it.
The whole post is great (and seems super considerate, honestly, as some missionaries can be total assholes; just snipping for space, read it!)
Just an addendum from someone raised LDS—the door-to-door people are not local church members. Although members are supposed to proselytize as well, it’s on a more … hm, casual basis. The ones that come to your door are trained missionaries who signed up to spend some two years proselytizing, paid ten thousand dollars for the privilege, and were sent to ‘serve’ a particular region (usually distant). All young men are commanded to do it and (these days) many women strongly encouraged; it’s considered to be giving 1-2 years of your life to God. So LDS door-to-door people have all been trained in standards of, umm, missionary conduct and definitely should be expected to adhere to them.
(My parents did make me invite my Jewish best friend to church and so forth. They might have simply not known, though it’s one of the many reasons that I personally loathe proselytizing.)
sadly, I have not seen it - I was vicariously living through your liveblogging during all the driving my family did around Thanksgiving due to holiday + subsequent grandmother’s funeral 700 miles away, but before that I hadn’t heard much about it!
ahhh I’m glad you enjoyed it, then! I remembered you followed that and of course I’ve seen you around at lucreziare which is like spoilery mcspoilerville, so I assumed you had! haha, you must have seen half the series in gifsets by now
but I hope you enjoy the show properly too <3
I honestly hadn’t heard much about it, either! Somebody really fell down on the publicity department and it’s supposedly to have been comparatively popular in the US (and I mean, now that I’ve seen the fandom, I can see that it is) but it just… idk!
I was only vaguely aware of it as something to do with Renaissance asshole incestuous Catholics and didn’t think it sounded like my thing until somewhere along the way I heard about politics and costumes and sibling feels, and figured, eh, sounds like my thing really, why not, and I knew it was over by then so no suspense and … well, you’ve witnessed the spiral into relentless stanning :P